Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Attention Walmart Shoppers

To my fellow Walmart patrons:

Stop judging me.

I have twin 23 month old boys who hate being in a cart and I'm 36 weeks pregnant. I try to choose an appropriate time of the morning to go to the store when I think they'll be on their best behavior, but unfortunately, they can be slightly unpredictable in that department. Sorry if that inconveniences your otherwise euphoric Walmart shopping experience.

So when you walk past me with one child safely strapped in the double-seater plastic portion of the cart and the other child precariously sitting in the large strap-free portion of the cart, just believe me that I moved one after they were engaged in a pinching crying battle, I'm not always the type to throw precaution to the wind.

And when you see me giving a crying, fit-throwing child a free cookie from the bakery, you should be thanking the bakery lady for stepping in and offering sugar - not looking at me like I'm Satan's accomplice in creating an army of spoiled children. Believe me when I say that Walmart is one of the only times they ever even get a cookie, so just ignore their behavior as I'm handing it to them.

And finally, I can do without your stares of judgement as I put a 20oz Coke and a Twix on the belt for myself. Yes, it was a moment of weakness, but no, I didn't test positive for diabetes and if this is what it takes to reward myself for making it through the store with two fussy toddlers, so be it.

Quite honestly, most days I don't even feel brave enough or like I have enough energy to leave the house by myself, and you casting glances at me is not helping. I'd have an easy time shopping too if I had one perfectly behaved child sitting in her cloth covered, normal sized cart seat and had an unencumbered, non-pregnant body to do all the work.

So let me save you some time. Next time you feel like judging, or even just looking a little too long... Don't. If I was that type of person, I'm sure there are plenty of more incriminating/embarrassing/ridiculous things that I could be judging you for too thankyouverymuch.

6 comments:

amy said...

hahaha! Hang in there, mama! I certainly understand- we moms of twins are quite the freak show in public, aren't we?! :)

Trisha said...

Great post...although I am sure it was more entertaining for me to read than for you to write! We moms have got to do what we got to do. And Sam gets cookies more often than just the free ones at the store...

Anonymous said...

Wow, this practically made me cry. Very inspiring :) You're very strong.

Becky said...

Most people I see at Walmart are in no place to judge...

Jack can't get through ANY store without goldfish and breaking my grocery list into confetti, so do whatever it takes!

Kathie said...

As a mom of 3 year old twin boys....I have been there! Just yesterday in fact.

Kate said...

This is hilarious. I feel the same way with one child so don't feel so bad! I'm guilty of giving Caleb his pacifier after dropping it right on the floor...hey I only have so many tricks!