Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Time of Testing

I used to like tests. I would study my butt off and feel so satisfied as I'd breeze through the questions, pretty confident that I knew what I was doing. The true satisfaction came with the grade though. Even the times that I felt like I had done poorly, the grade usually came back pretty positive if I had put the time in to really know the material. I used to like tests.

I find now though, that the tests I'm most often faced with are the ones that I hate. They are the tests of faith, the tests of character and the tests of life. I wish there were Cliffs notes for these tests - or at least a way to be sure that you got the answer right.

Today's test is one of faith. I've been studying Philippeans lately and the verse that has stood out is "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6-7)

We spent the morning with Early Childhood Intervention, a program here in TX that will provide the physical/occupational therapy for Owen that he needs to solve the problem with his neck. They do all sorts of 'entrance evaluations' and he was doing a great job... until they started making noises. Owen didn't respond. He didn't turn, or react to the noise or even make a facial reaction. He didn't do anything to indicate that he could hear the noises at all.

With that, the two ladies evaluating him exchanged glances and recommended that I get his hearing checked with someone who specializes in infants. They noted in his chart that he failed the hearing screening and moved on with the rest of the test... but I couldn't move on. Is it possible that my little boy can't hear?

I've been trying my hardest to remember if the times that we get his attention are because he can see us or because he can hear us. Does he sleep through Eli crying because he's used to it or because he can't hear it? Does he not cry at loud noises because he doesn't scare easily or because they aren't loud to him?

So now the period of testing begins. Can I put into practice this verse from Philippeans that's so easy to trust when you're NOT in a period of trial? Can I submit this request to God and not worry about the outcome? Will I allow God to guard my heart and mind in this circumstance?

Please pray for Owen and his ears. Pray that the new doctor will be a good one and that we can get an answer soon. And pray for me and Charlie, that we won't be anxious about this and that we'll trust God with the health and lives of our babies.

5 comments:

Janet said...

It's hard with so many unknowns! Do know that we're in prayer and have already gathered 'round in the church office to lift you up...

Mitch said...

we are praying for you and little Owen's hearing and that God will help make sense of these things... hang in there Beth. may the peace of God transcend our understanding...

Kelly said...

I'm continuing to pray for you, Bethie. Praying that you would find peace and trust in our all knowing and loving Savior. I love you! If you need to chat at any point, feel free to call. xoxo

suzannah said...

oh beth, my heart broke when i read this. we are praying for you and little owen, and know that God will continue to see your family through every test, footstep, and moment. love you.

Kathleen Emmons said...

Beth, I'm so so so proud of you! For being a great mom, a great wife and -- especially -- for being a "grown-up" in the faith. These are the times that either push us forward toward the Lord, or draw us back, and I'm so thankful to see you turning to Him through all of this. He WILL supply your needs. He WILL hear your prayers. He WILL NEVER leave you, or your boys! His promises are true, and the more you test Him in faith, the more you'll see Him come through. Keep on keeping on -- you're the best!!